The 50 Greatest Mustaches in MLB History | News, Scores, Highlights, Stats, and Rumors

Pavano's mustache, or Pavstache for short, has been credited by the St. Paul Police Department with solving multiple cold cases. "It's the damnedest thing," said police spokesman Paul Schnell, "One day, it just showed up in a rumpled suit, drinking coffee from a styrofoam cup, and began going through old files and making phone calls.  Next thing you know, we've got three guys in lockup."

If you watched last night's game in HD, and you're ovulating, congratulations!  You are now pregnant with Pavstache's baby!  Please refer any questions about child support and midwifery to the Twins front office.